My wishes: a pre-planning worksheet

The worksheet is a simple planning tool. It helps you gather your preferences in one place so others do not have to guess.

You can use it to note the choices that matter to you, including:
- whether you prefer burial, cremation, or another kind of gathering
- the kind of service you want, if any
- where you would like your family to look for your important papers
- who should be contacted and who you trust to help carry out your wishes
- any personal details that would bring comfort, such as music, readings, photos, or cultural or faith traditions
- thoughts about budget, payment, or whether you have any pre-arranged plans already in place

Many people use a worksheet like this because they want to make things gentler for their family. Others use it because they are still deciding and want a place to think things through. Both are valid.

If you are comparing options, our guides on burial, cremation, and pre-planning may also help.

Try to fill it out in a quiet moment. You do not need to finish everything at once. A few clear notes are better than waiting for the perfect time.

A gentle way to use the worksheet:
1. Start with the basics. Write your full name, date, and the best contact information for the person you trust to help.
2. Mark your main preference. If you lean toward burial, cremation, or a memorial without a formal funeral, write that first.
3. Add what matters most. This may be a religious custom, a simple gathering, a favorite song, or a wish to keep costs modest.
4. Note what you do not want. This can be just as helpful as writing what you do want.
5. List practical details. Include where important papers are kept, who should be notified, and whether you have a cemetery plot, military discharge papers, or a pre-need contract.
6. Review it later. Your wishes may change over time. It is fine to update the worksheet and date the new version.

If a question feels difficult, leave it blank and come back later. The goal is not perfection. The goal is clarity.

People often wonder what belongs in a pre-planning worksheet. In most cases, it helps to include both personal wishes and practical notes.

Helpful personal choices may include:
- burial or cremation preference
- funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, or no service
- faith, cultural, or military traditions
- music, readings, flowers, donations, obituary preferences, or dress wishes
- who you hope will speak or take part

Helpful practical notes may include:
- the name and contact information of the person you want to handle arrangements
- where identification, legal documents, and account information are stored
- whether you have already paid for anything or signed any paperwork
- whether you want your family to compare providers before choosing one
- any budget limits you want respected

If you mention a specific funeral home or cremation provider, it is wise to review that choice from time to time. Providers can change ownership, services, or prices.

Remember that prices vary by area and provider. Any cost information you see online is only a typical range, not a quote. Ask each funeral home for its itemized General Price List, called a GPL, and confirm prices in writing. Families have the right to buy only the goods and services they want, to use a casket or urn bought elsewhere, and to decline embalming where it is not legally required. Embalming is rarely required by law.

After you complete the worksheet, make sure it can be found when it is needed. A thoughtful plan is only helpful if the right person knows it exists.

A good next step is to:
1. Sign and date the worksheet.
2. Give a copy to the person you want to handle arrangements.
3. Tell at least one other trusted person where the original is kept.
4. Store it with important papers in a place your family can access.
5. Review it every year or after a major life change.

It can also help to keep a short note with the worksheet that says whether you have a will, advance directive, veteran paperwork, cemetery deed, or any pre-need documents.

A worksheet is usually not a legal directive by itself. Rules differ by state. This is general educational information, not legal, financial, tax, or insurance advice.

If you have a pre-need contract or are thinking about one, read it carefully. Pre-need contracts and final-expense insurance are different products. Ask whether your money is protected, what happens if you move, and what is guaranteed. Insurance questions should be handled by a licensed agent. Stillpoint does not sell pre-need contracts or insurance.

Some people use the worksheet first, then look for local providers that fit their wishes and budget. If that is where you are, Stillpoint may help.

Stillpoint is a free matching service. We are not a funeral home, crematory, cemetery, funeral director, or insurance seller. We do not arrange funerals, perform cremations, or sell merchandise. We help families understand their options and get connected, at no cost, with licensed funeral homes and cremation providers near them.

When you speak with any provider, it is reasonable to ask:
- Are you licensed in this state
- Can you send me your itemized GPL
- What services are included, and what costs extra
- Is embalming required in this situation
- Can we provide our own casket or urn
- What timelines should we know about

You can learn more about at-need arrangements or how matching works. If and when you feel ready, you can also get matched.

Your wishes do not have to be elaborate to be meaningful. Simple instructions can spare your family from uncertainty and help them focus on caring for one another.

If you are filling this out for yourself, try to be honest about what matters most and what does not. If you are helping someone else, let the worksheet guide the conversation without rushing it.

It is all right if some answers change. Planning ahead is not about controlling every detail. It is about leaving enough guidance so the people who love you have a steadier place to begin.