How to write an obituary

An obituary usually does three things:

• It shares the death in a respectful way.
• It tells people about service or memorial details, if you want to include them.
• It says a little about the person’s life and the people closest to them.

Some families write a full obituary. Others choose a shorter death notice. A death notice is often more basic. It may include the person’s name, age, date of death, and information about services. An obituary may add life history, family names, values, interests, and a few sentences about who the person was.

Either choice is valid. There is no required length unless a newspaper has its own word limit. If you are also making arrangements, you may find it helpful to read at-need arrangements.

Before you write, gather the facts in one place. This helps prevent mistakes and makes the process a little easier.

Useful details to confirm:

• Full name, including nickname if commonly used
• Age
• City and state of residence
• Date of death
• Place of death, if you want to include it
• Date and place of birth
• Names of close family members
• Service, visitation, or memorial details
• Charity or memorial donation information, if any

It also helps to decide on the tone. Some families want only essential facts. Others want warmth and personality. Both are appropriate.

If several people are involved, choose one person to collect edits and approve the final version. That can reduce stress and avoid conflicting changes.

Be careful with private information. You do not have to include a full home address, exact place of birth, mother’s maiden name, or other details that could create privacy concerns.

If a funeral home is helping with arrangements, ask whether they can review the obituary for accuracy or submit it on your behalf. Stillpoint is a free matching service. We are not a funeral home, and we do not place obituaries, but we can help families connect with licensed funeral homes and cremation providers near them at no cost through how it works.

You can follow this order and adjust it to fit your family.

1. Start with the announcement.
Write the person’s full name, age, city, and date of death. Keep it direct and gentle.

Example: "Maria Elena Ruiz, 78, of El Paso, Texas, died on March 2, 2026, surrounded by family."

2. Add a brief life summary.
Include where they were born, where they lived, work they did, military service if relevant, faith community if important to them, and a few interests or qualities.

Example: "She was born in Chihuahua, Mexico, and made her home in Texas for more than 40 years. She worked as a teacher and was known for her steadiness, kindness, and love of gardening."

3. Name close family.
You may list people who survived the person and, if you wish, close relatives who died earlier.

Example: "She is survived by her husband, Daniel; her children, Rosa, Miguel, and Teresa; and six grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her parents and her sister, Ana."

4. Share service information.
Include date, time, and place for a funeral, visitation, burial, cremation memorial, or celebration of life, if those details are public and already confirmed.

Example: "A visitation will be held on Friday, March 8, from 5 to 7 p.m. at... A memorial service will follow on Saturday at 10 a.m."

5. Add memorial information, if desired.
If the family prefers donations, say where.

Example: "In place of flowers, the family asks that memorial gifts be made to..."

6. End with a short personal line, if it feels right.
This can be simple.

Example: "She will be remembered for her patience, her faith, and the way she made everyone feel welcome."

If you need help thinking through service types before you finalize wording, these guides on cremation and burial may help.

Here is a basic format many families find useful:

"[Full name], [age], of [city, state], died on [date]. [He/She/They] was born on [birth date] in [place]. [Name or pronoun] was known for [one or two qualities, roles, or interests].

[Name or pronoun] is survived by [close family]. [Optional: Name or pronoun] was preceded in death by [family members].

[Service details, if public.] [Optional memorial donation sentence.]"

Here is a fuller example:

"James Carter Lee, 84, of Columbus, Ohio, died on April 14, 2026. He was born on June 9, 1941, in Louisville, Kentucky. James served in the U.S. Navy, worked for many years as an electrician, and was a devoted father and grandfather. He loved fishing, old hymns, and long talks on the porch.

He is survived by his daughters, Angela Lee and Monica Perez; his son, David Lee; and five grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his wife, Ruth Lee.

A visitation will be held on Monday, April 20, from 4 to 6 p.m., followed by a funeral service at 6 p.m. at [location]. Burial will take place the next morning. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity name]."

You can make it more formal, more personal, or much shorter. The best obituary sounds true to the person and manageable for the family.

The cost to publish an obituary varies widely. A funeral home website or online memorial page may include a notice at no extra charge, or as part of a package. Newspapers often charge by word count, by length, by day, or by print and online placement. Some community papers offer free or lower-cost death notices.

Typical range:

• Online obituary on a funeral home site: sometimes included, sometimes a separate fee
• Local newspaper death notice or obituary: often from about $100 to several hundred dollars
• Large metro paper or longer printed obituary: can be higher

These are typical ranges, not quotes. Always confirm the current price in writing.

If you are working with a funeral home, remember your rights under the FTC Funeral Rule. You can ask for an itemized General Price List. You have the right to buy only the goods and services you want. You can also use a casket or urn bought elsewhere, and you can decline embalming when it is not legally required. Embalming is rarely required by law. Learn more about Funeral Rule rights.

Ask each provider for their GPL and verify that the funeral home or cremation provider is licensed in your state. Stillpoint does not arrange funerals or sell services. We provide free, general educational information and free matching to licensed local providers.

If the blank page feels heavy, that is understandable. You can begin with only the facts, then add one or two personal details later.

Try this gentle approach:

• Write the first sentence with name, age, city, and date of death.
• Add one line about work, family, or what mattered most to them.
• List close family members.
• Add service information only when it is confirmed.
• Read it aloud once. Shorten any sentence that feels crowded.

You can also ask someone else to draft it from your notes. Many families find this easier.

If you still need to choose a funeral home or cremation provider, Stillpoint can help you get connected, at no cost, with licensed providers near you through get matched. We are a free matching service, not a funeral home or crematory. The information on this page is general educational information, not legal, financial, tax, or insurance advice.